I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
