No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
