it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
