i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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