respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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