if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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