smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
