She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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