if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
