Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
