Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This baby is an asshole
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
