Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
