I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
