so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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