so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
