i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
