Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
