I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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