Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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