ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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