Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
