It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
