She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
