What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
