I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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