Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
