If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
a search helicopter?!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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