she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
