Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
