I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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