Sry I called you an 8
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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