At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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