what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
