You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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