you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We need to get me chipped asap
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
