why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
