My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm jealous of your bromance
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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