Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
