she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
