Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
where am i from again
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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