i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
