??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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