When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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