How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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