Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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