Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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