I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
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