I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She bit a glass in half.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
