Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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