He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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